Thursday, 11 August 2011

These Days...

I've been out walking
I don't do too much talking
These days, these days.
These days I seem to think a lot
About the things that I forgot to do
And all the times I had the chance to.

I've stopped my rambling,
I don't do too much gambling
These days, these days.
These days I seem to think about
How all the changes came about my ways
And I wonder if I'll see another highway.

I had a lover,
I don't think I'll risk another
These days, these days.
And if I seem to be afraid
To live the life that I have made in song
It's just that I've been losing so long.

I've stopped my dreaming,
I won't do too much scheming
These days, these days.
These days I sit on corner stones
And count the time in quarter tones to ten.
Please don't confront me with my failures,
I had not forgotten them.


- Nico -

Saturday, 16 July 2011

The TRUTH....

We are all doomed.

Why does no one ask about the Amchitka blasts anymore???

It’s all about the AXIS, people, the AXIS!!

Thursday, 14 July 2011

A Golden Voice

Once,as a young sprout, I had the opportunity to sing with my school choir.
I never thought that i possessed much of what one would call 'a voice' but the music teacher had decided that what emanated from my throat was the next thing to godliness and so he insisted that I join the group and sing (or God knows what would happen to me).
He seemed to be of the belief that I could hit a high note when required and immediately switch to a low one when also required.  "A natural" he would scream.
I didn't think of myself as being a natural at anything more than finding new and innovative ways to consume chips and dip but he seemed to believe otherwise.
And so my parents consented to allowing Mr. Ferguson to turn me into the next Robert Merril (or, God forbid, Beverley Sills!).
At first, needless to say, I was mortified.  I was a pre-teen whose idols were James Bond, Batman and Godzilla (not necessarily in that order) and suddenly I was being told to join what was for all intents and purposes the "gayest" of all possible endeavors - SINGING IN THE SCHOOL CHOIR!!!!.

What to do?

Play dead under the covers and hope that school in its entirety would just go away?
Not practical.
Start coughing and engaging in convulsions that would surely appear realistic as I'd recently seen them performed the same way in the latest Hammer horror film at the local theater?
Didn't work.

And so having been abandoned by the gods I ended up in the school choir!!!

Sang my little head off.

We won the Kiwanas Festival that year.

UNBELIEVABLE!!!


I'm still waiting for my recording contract.

Monday, 13 June 2011

Revelation....

It turns out that there really are things that go bump in the night.

And some of them are not very friendly.

Monday, 30 May 2011

ORIGINALITY

Being the first to copy what everyone else has already done is not originality.

I wonder if I'm the first person to say that.

Wednesday, 27 April 2011

Easter weekend once again and I am reminded of Easter weekends past.
My parents, whom I am convinced were escaped Nazi war criminals, had assured me that the tastiest and most succulent Easter treats were left on the uppermost ledges of the city's tallest skyscratchers.
Each year they would drive me into the downtown core and drop me off at the base of the city's tallest structures.
"AJ", they'd say, "head for the highest window and find the most sugary of all rewards (giggle, giggle, snort)".
And so I went.
Up stairs and elevators until I had reached the pinnacle of man's marriage to concrete.
Through the nearest window I would slither out and onto the most accessible ledge.
And that ledge, due to my childish size, was always wider than I had anticipated but nevertheless I made my way in search of sugary and teeth-rotting treats.
Against the deepest dark of nights and the chilling stare of the moon I would wend my way all in hope of collecting a succulent Christian treat.

To this day I can hear them giggling and chortling below.

So now ... I smoke cigarettes and laugh at sitcoms.

Saturday, 23 April 2011

Fear...

Even though I was alone at the beach with the calm sea behind me, I could not shake the awful sensation that someone or something was watching me ... and making plans.

Where I am right now...

Nothing makes sense...all around me strangeness rears its ugly head...water has become dry to the touch...hats appear for no reason and then...disappear for no reason.

Sunday, 17 April 2011

A Tale of Brunch

I just had brunch with God a few hours ago.
We had a pleasant chat, as always, and I spent a delightful hour filling him in on the goings-on in my life.
As a devoted cat-lover he took particular interest in how my new cat was getting along with my older cats. He assured me that everything would work out fine in the end.
We traded a few jokes about our kids and the trouble with getting just the right cable package that doesn't cost an arm and a leg.
Despite my protestati­ons he insisted on picking up the check but I swore that the next one would definitely be on me.
Before he left I asked him if there was anything I should be doing to better my life and the lives of those around me.
He thought for a moment, stroked his well-trimm­ed beard and said "Stay politicall­y active and stop Michele Bachmann".

Next week we're having Italian.

Thursday, 7 April 2011

The New Look

I am beginning to look like someone who should be a regular feature on CBC arts programs.

Wednesday, 6 April 2011

Greeting Card from Neve Cambell

At Christmas of 2003 my late friend James Hill acquired for me this card from actress Neve Campbell who, it turns out, was an old family friend of James.
Not too many people get one of THESE!
 
Thanks Neve, wherever you are.


More Thoughts....

I sit back and smoke a cigarette.
Drink my vodka and orage.
Listen to music.
And all the while I wonder...why can't A PERSON WHO SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS (though he know full well who he is...yeah...I'm talking about YOU buddy!)  figure out how to use a rice-cooker?
By the way....I AM wearing pants right now.  But they don't fit properly so there is always the chance of embarrassment.

Wish I had a cat.  Or maybe a gerbil.  Something manageable since marriage is out of the question.

Tuesday, 5 April 2011

Thursday, 31 March 2011

Killer Squirrels - a plague on our fair city

Toronto Pet Snatched by Killer Squirrel

A Toronto family is mourning the death of a dog snatched by a Killer Squirrel, Toronto Police said Thursday.
Sgt. Hilda Goody said the small dog was snatched Wednesday night from the front lawn of an Eglinton Ave. home.
A man who lives in the home, and was standing on the front steps, watched in horror as the Killer Squirrel darted from the side of the home and grabbed the 8 pound puppy in its jaws.
Goody said officers on the ground spotted a buff, white-and-black Killer Squirrel in the Hampton area, then occupants of police helicopter Air 1 "located three Killer Squirrels in a wooded area north of Eglinton near a local park."
Goody said the incident was the second Killer Squirrel sighting in that area this spring.
Last March, East York resident Lorna Bloom was left broken-hearted when Daphne, her four-month-old Maltese puppy, became a Killer Squirrel meal — snatched from its leash as the owner's 62-year-old daughter was walking her and an older dog.
The distraught dog-walker ran home for help, but police tactical units were unable to spot Daphne.
Six months later, in September, Toronto police shot and killed a roaming Killer Squirrel near a school in the Beach area.
Cousins of the Gray Squirrel, Killer Squirrels are particularly active at this time of year, during mating season. Adults are on the prowl for food to feed mates in their dens.
There are 16 subspecies in Canada, averaging 76-to-86 cm in length, 58-to-66 cm tall and weight as little as 6.8 kg, as much as 21 kg.
Despite warnings from animal control, police and Ontario Ministry of Natural Resources (MNR) officials, pets allowed outside of homes in the GTA are at greater risk in early spring from Killer Squirrels — including in Toronto, where an unknown number live in wooded areas, including parks and ravines.
In an interview Sunday, Deputy Mayor Doug Holyday said it would be impossible to round up all the Killer Squirrels sneaking through the woods in Toronto.
“I certainly sympathize with anyone who has lost a pet,” he said, but added "if we want natural areas, it’s going to attract Killer Squirrels.”
Other residents attract Killer Squirrels by setting out food, happy to see one of the majestic wild creatures, and Holyday said learning to co-habitate with such animals is a necessary reality in Canada's biggest city.
Police said animal services officers have concluded since Killer Squirrels are only acting naturally when they hunt small animals — including dogs and cats — trapping will not be considered.
Some people fear Killer Squirrels snatching small children, but they are instinctively smart and rarely approach people, MNR officials say.
TIPS
"Residents are reminded to be vigilant with their safety and the safety of their pets," Sgt. Goody said in a statement Friday.
"If you encounter a Killer Squirrel do not turn your back or run away. Remain calm and back away slowly," she said. "If you are out walking in the evening or early morning, bring a whistle or other device such as a bugle to scare away any approaching animal.
"Always walk dogs on a leash and try to keep cats inside," Sgt. Goody said.
If a Killer Squirrel poses an immediate threat or danger to public safety, Goody suggests calling 911 or running for your life.

Food for thought...

Why is it that people who drink to forget never forget to drink.

Quando Omni Flunkus Moritati
(When all else fails, play dead)

growing older is mandatory but growing up is optional.

Social Morays


Night & Day



The Count at the Fair

Nerdspex

Wednesday, 30 March 2011

Site to Waste Time On

Courtesy of the Huffington Post:

It seems like every week, a new meme pops up that alters "Garfield" or "The Family Circus" for comedic effect. But comic strip customization has rarely been as effective or as sad as 3eanuts, in which the last panel of a "Peanuts" comic strip is eliminated, throwing Charlie Brown, Peppermint Patty and the gang into various existential episodes. Good grief.

Friday, 25 March 2011

Thought...

Aldous Huxley remarked in "Brave New World Revisited" that civil libertarians and nationalists who are ever on the alert to oppose tyranny fail to take into account man's almost infinite appetite for distractions.
In "1984", Huxley added, people are controlled by the infliction of pain.  In "Brave New World" they are controlled by the infliction of pleasure.

Thursday, 24 March 2011